sooo, this post not gonna be about something that happy or bubbly like previous post. its gonna be one of the emotional wreck kind of post. so, if you feel like you are on the wrong page, keep moving ☺ okay, now that been clear off. i will start with.......
IF I CAME AS ANNOYING TO YOU, THEN YOU SHOULD SPEAK UP! it came out too strong right? thats my intention. but seriously, speak up i won't be mad or going crazy on you. trust me i won't. in fact i will stop being annoying ass to you. just speak it up dude no worries. who like to annoyed others as their hobby tho? not me. SPEAK UP 🔊 if you speak up i will change it, no biggie. but know this. i will only annoyed others if i care! so, just be prepare if i show no emotion or reaction in front of you. that just me ignoring your existence. owhh as an extra i won't be starting our next conversation. nuh uh.. if there is important things that need to be done, then yes i will start it. but if only IMPORTANT. why am i doing this? urm firstly, i don't even know what kind of things that i do that came as annoying. therefore i will just stop interacting with you as a solution. simple 👌
am i overacting? so what?! i can be a drama queen too. its not like i doesn't have feelings. i do have them, they are more than you frankly speaking. but i choose to hide it from the ignorants. it just that, i can be someone that care to much but end up hurting myself the most. its the truth. been there and it happen all the time. but the one that i care about? they cure their heart and left 🚪 if you are asking why i didn't tell you? well i thought you know me, i prefer helping other first before myself. and if you are talking and i'm talking who gonna listen? until when the problem will be solve if we're talking and no action? do you understand? if yes thank you, finally 😊 if you are wondering why do i choose to help? oh well, i do have soft spot for others. even tho they are not my close friends or enemy. i just can't live knowing there is others that are hurting. my mind wont stop running thinking about it until i do something either help them or distracting myself. so no judgment, please.
there are a lot of unspoken things to tell you the truth. but i choose to keep it to myself. i choose to change how to interact/deal/befriend according to your personality. it is not because of how you are friendly or anything. it because i choose to be flexible for you. i choose it to help you be comfortable. if i want i can be someone that came as cold/trouble but i avoid it if i can. why? because i hate it. hate is a strong word, but its the truth. i choose and trying to be someone who is happy carefree even tho sometimes i failed it. i maybe sometimes seem like someone who is strong and stress free. WRONG. i'm not. because of how i care too much, because of how my brain work that sometimes read between lines, because of how i pay too much attention for details, all of this only add on my trouble list 💣
but yeahh. i never open up to anyone. i just can't. if i share it to any of you, well to tell you the truth. i only share a bit of it, it was like only a thin layer of it. no hard feelings please. at least i share a bit of it. and some of my friend ask if this person or this person are my best-friends. i always say no. because i hate to label my friend. its not fair on my opinion. i choose to befriend with them not to find bff or anything. i want to befriend them because i want a friend till the end/jannah. its hard i know. but i want it to come true. hopefully. i don't mind if my friend are the opposite of me or anything. i just want them to be them and always tell the truth either it sooner or later. just speak up. i hate staying in the dark, it will only make my brain work extra hard and reading between lines. my brain overwork are not good situation because i can came up with a lot of situation/assumptions 😔 sometimes its so far-fetched 😕
so yeah, this post is bits of my feeling and how my brain in work. just like i said up above. this is only a thin layer of it. it is up to you, how you gonna interpret it. it may came as the truth or false. its depend on how you see it. i won't judge. if you have something to ask for clarification, you can ask. i don't mind 😊 thats all for now. bye bye and assalammualaikum👋😊
sincerely,
unstable 💎💗
its_diba.
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